The Gazette 1994

GAZETTE

OCTOBER 1994

The Tob l e rone T i t le

When bent, of course, the acetate breaks and pierces the tender skin of the re-bending lawyer whose blood gives the agreement a colourful hue. Reading a triangular testament can be fun. When first it is flattened it flattens only to deceive. By the second paragraph when eyes intently travel across the page from left to right it suddenly jumps from the desk sometimes striking the short sighted reader on the nose. This phenomenon often explains the unusual presence of copious quantities of ash in the margins as smokers suffer the shock of the snapping sentence. It has even been known to induce hiccups among drinkers. But it keeps the narcoleptic awake. The old paper press that once supported the cabinet in the back office, long since disposed of, was never appreciated and its loss is now sadly lamented.

Among the most perplexing of experiences is the three way closing where the careful solicitor who has been trained to think flat takes each deed and document, then carefully unfolds, re-bends, rolls (and sometimes leaps upon) the stubborn sheets before cautiously placing the uncoiled clauses one on the other until the corrugated heap is firmly assembled and bound together with a tough elastic band. The mortgagee's solicitor in a businesslike flurry and with practised speed demolishes the architectural pile from top to bottom while ticking items from the schedule. It matters little to this practitioner that the schedule itself is attached to a certificate signed and checked by another equally as busy. The borrower's solicitor must hold back the tears of frustration as each delicate document is brutally bent back into its antediluvian disorder to form another Toblerone Title. •

by Justin McKenna, Solicitor

When the deed is done And faces glow with the first flush of agreement The client hands the fragile legal documents over And the lawyer then proceeds to bend them! Because that's the way it's done. They are stored that way. The envelope is designed to take them that way. Quite simply, that's the way God intended it. The quaint traditions of the law exist to confuse, bemuse and amuse. Is there a modern analogy for this strange custom? For instance would my pharmacist hand me over my photographs newly processed and developed, carefully folded in the middle and bound together with an elastic band? I have seen two centuries of transactions condensed into a stiff booklet of title and by a feat of unnatural secretarial strength it has been bent down the middle. To read the document it must now be re-bent. This requires a similar show of strength not always present among emaciated lawyers. The photocopying of such a document can lead to unusual results. The script in the middle fades into the distance leaving the words adjoining the two margins as visible evidence of this peculiar folly. Since the introduction of the laser printer the printing of legal documents is frequently found on one side only. The deeds are consequently doubly thicker. Indeed if the deed is not at least four pages long then in order to protect the paper against the vicissitudes of time acetates are used to sandwich those expensive words. Why?

THE LAW SOCIETY YOUNGER MEMBERS COMMITTEE in association with THE DUBLIN SOLICITORS BAR ASSOCIATION ANNUAL QUIZ NIGHT in aid of

SOLICITORS BENEVOLENT FUND

Wednesday 2 November 1994

8 . 00 p.m.

ROYAL MARINE HOTEL, DUN LAOGHAIRE

Entry forms: Joan Doran, Law Society, Blackhall Place

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